Free Footy

I took Riewoldt and his cousins, Wells and Watson, to the Fed Square AFL live site on Tuesday.

They had a ball. Lots of people, lots of queues, and lots of free stuff. Fortunately, for my sake, the boys thought better of lining up in this queue for the Big Kick In. It’s an activity in which you get a free Sherrin in return for a kick through the logo of the sponsored target.

Instead we found a spot for lunch Just behind the main action. We sat in black Acapulco deck chairs, ate fat fries and drank coke. The sun was out so I thought I’d have a wine. It would go nicely with the beetroot and caramelised onion tart.

In between bites and kicks, my trio of charges watched the queuers queue. Together they schemed as to how they they could get their saucy fingers on three of the footballs from the trailer load in front of us, without having to line up.

No one can see us, they mused.

Wait…the lady in the hawthorn jumper is watching, quipped one.

No she’s not, she’s waiting for someone.

No one is watching now.

Yes there is….


God is!

….but aren’t they free?

More deliberation followed.

Not surprisingly, the boys surreptitious loitering beside the Sherrin filled trailer yielded naught. Instead of free footy’s, the trio got free lessons in virtuous behaviour from an Origin Energy official in a red polo shirt.

You should wait in line….

like everyone else, he said.

And wait your turn.

Perhaps the Origin Energy official was God and he would give them penance. Penance for sins contemplated but not yet committed. Penance in the form of the Dockers theme song, three times over. It was time to go.

Down the cobbled slope of Fed Square and through the throngs of harried parents on lunch breaks, to the Fox Footy Studio. We joined the queue. A pretty young girl wanted my email address.

It’s for the You Tube video of your children, she said. They will be late inclusions for this Saturdays Grandfinal at the G.

Is that right? Yes, Ok. And you get a free footy?

Yes you will.

Satisfied and tired,  we departed the square with three free footy’s and a You Tube video with Dermott and the boys. Laughter and song filled our 1:33 Frankston bound train……Freo way to go, they chorused. Hit Em Real Hard / Send Them Down Below / Freo give em The Old Heave Ho……Rockers and Rollers / We are the Freo Dockers!

Penance paid.

Carn the Hawks.

also published at

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